SPAGHETTI JOKE

SPAGHETTI JOKE

 



For several years, a man in New York City had been having an affair with an Italian woman.  One night, she confided to him that she was pregnant.  Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go back to Italy to secretly have the child.  Also, if she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would provide child support until the child turned 18.

 

 

 

 

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.  To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card and write 'SPA GHETTI' on the back when the child was born.  He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.

 

 

 

One day, about 8 months later, he came home to his confused wife.  "Honey," she said, "You received a very strange post card today."  "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later." he said.

The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and fainted.



 

 

 

 

On the card was written:  SPAGHETTI, SPAGHETTI, SPAGHETTI.

                                         TWO WITH MEATBALLS, ONE WITHOUT.

                                         SEND EXTRA SAUCE!









SKINCARE ADVICE: STAY YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL

BEAUTY ADVICE:  FOOD TO STAY YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL INSIDE OUT 

 

 

 "Food affects skin at a cellular level, so what you eat can make a dramatic difference in your appearance!"

Jeannette Graf, M.D.

Author of 'Stop Aging, Start Living: The Revolutionary 2-Week pH Diet'

 

 

 

 

 To keep your skin plump, firm and looking its youthful best, Dr. Graf advice is to load up on these following food:

 1.   CITRUS FRUIT
                    Dr. Graf advises that you should aim for at least one serving of citrus fruit every other day.  Citrus fruit is a potent source of Vitamin C, an antioxidant research-proven to rev the production of skin-firming collagen and protect against wrinkles because you get the biggest C boost from food, not supplements.

 

 

 

2.   Walnuts and Brazil Nuts

               Research shows that omega 3s strengthen muscles, and strong muscles keep skin looking taut and firm.  Brazil nuts and walnuts are especially high in omega-3 fatty acids, which improve the skin's appearance.

 



 

3.   Dark Green Veggies

              Dr. Graf says, "They contain alkaline minerals, like potassium and calcium, and skin looks and functions best when your cells, tissues and fluids are slightly alkaline."  Moreover, she also said that if you do not love spinach, broccoli or kale, just take a spirulina supplement.  According to Dr. Graf, spirulina is a super-potent algae, which increases alkalinity and helps flush toxins that encourage wrinkles.

 

 



 

 



4.   Low-Glycemic Fruit

               Fruits that are low in glycemic and do not cause a spike in blood sugar even though they are sweet as they can be are strawberries, raspberries, apricots and apples.  These information is crucial because excess sugar causes skin cells to age prematurely.

 

 

 

 

BEAUTY ADVICE: SKINTERVENTION

SKINTERVENTION:  BEAUTY ADVICE FROM AMY WECHSLER FROM AN ARTICLE AT ELLE MAGAZINE, NOVEMBER 2012

 

Amy Wechsler, MD is Chanel's newest team member, who will bring a refreshingly scientific approach to mind-body skin cures.  She is a board-certified dermatologist and psychiatrist (two doctorates that is one of just two in the country).

 

SKINTERVENTION OF AMY WECHSLER, MD

 

"I can tell when someone hasn't  been getting enough sleep, or if she's been around secondhand smoke.  It could be the dullness of her skin, acne, or more lines and wrinkles.  A lot of women in their twenties, they're burning the candle at both ends.  They're partying really hard.  They come to me to undo the damage, asking for Botox and fillers when they don't need them.  They just need to get more sleep and stop smoking.  They'll see a difference in a week."

 

 
"If you've got a line that's familial-something your mom had, like between your eyebrows and it's already etching itself in, we can cure you of it, and you won't need Botox there after a few years.  We use just a teeny bit; we call it "baby Botox."

 

 

"Any activity that decreases cortisol and the other stress molecules can minimize the damage on the skin.  Yoga and massage work, but not for everyone.  For example, yoga hurts my joints.  And topical acne medications, over-the-counter ones with benzoyl peroxide or salicylic acid or prescription retinoids, can also help."

 

 





"Humming releases nitric acid, which speeds healing.  I think it also increases your endorphins.  And humming can help with pain, more than a stress ball.  During procedures, you'll  see patients gripping stress balls, their shoulders all hunched.  But when those same patients try singing or humming, they totally relax."
 
"I'm not high-maintenance, I promise!  But I have a body towel, a dedicated hair towel, and a separate face towel.  When I was a teenager and had bad acne, my dermatologist said, "Never get your hair oil on your face, ever!"

 

"I was a real skeptic because I tried, like, 50 of them, and most don't do what they say they do.  First at all, it should never irritate the skin around the eye, the most sensitive skin on the body.  Number two, it has to be extremely moisturizing.  Number three, it has to address fine lines.  They aren't that many out there that do all three.  I love Chanel Sublimage because it works.  And regular Vaseline is a good alternative for people who can't afford Sublimage or just want the very basic.

 





"Applying safflower oil topically can boost your skin's stores of linoleic acid, a natural moisturizer.  Only two oils are primary linoleic acid - olive and safflower - but the problem with olive oil is you smell like a salad."

 



"There's a huge psychological component to a purchase, be it a lipstick, a bag, whatever it is.  There's something about spending money on ourselves that is a huge self-esteem booster.  Patients say, "Do you think it's worth it?"  I ask if they like it, how it makes them feel.  And they love that cream; it has a special significance for them.  And I think that's real."



SKIN DIET

GREAT SKIN DIET:  ARTICLE FROM BEAUTY/ BEAUTY INSIGHT BY GLAMOUR.COM (NOVEMBER 2012)

This good-diet-great-skin theory is created by a Massachusetts dermatologist, Dr. Valori Treloar, M.D., who is also the coauthor of 'The Clear Skin Diet'.  This is a seven-week- diet-plan with a simple instructions, which are the following:

1.  Steer clear of the white food family, including white breads, cookies, cakes, and crackers.

 

 

 

2.  Eat more fiber-rich carbs like brown rice, whole-grain pasta, sweet potatoes, and lentils.

 

 

 

 

3.  Cut down on dairy.  Eat yogurt because the fermentation may reduce some of the growth

     hormones that could trigger acne.



 

 

 

4.  Avoid processed meats like hot dogs.  Hotdogs contain inflammatory omega-6 fats, so

     when buying meat, opt for organic and free-range.

 

 

 

5.  Fill your plate with colorful antioxidant-rich vegetables like carrots, spinach, and broccoli

     and when possible, eat these raw.

 

 





 

 

6.  Eat wild-caught oily fish like salmon, mackerel, and sardines.

 

 



 

 

7.  Cook with olive oil instead of corn and vegetable oils.  Olive oil typically have more

     omega-6 fats.

 

 

 

 

8.  Cut down on alcohol, which is proven to exacerbate adult acne, eczema, and rosacea.

 

 







BE A STAR AT WORK!

10 WAYS TO BE A TOTAL STAR AT WORK:  ADVICE BY KIMBERLY BONNELL & PAMELA REDMOND SATRAN FROM GLAMOUR.COM, JULY 2010

 1.  Always dress well enough for a surprise meeting with the boss.

 

 

2.  Unless you are a large-animal vet or a beer distributor, kindly untag that photo of you playing beer pong with a python.

 

 



3.  Be as kind to the janitor as you are to the CEO.

 

 



4.  Tears happen.  Take them to the restroom.

 

 



5.  Go on vacation.  Nobody likes a bitter, exhausted workaholic.

 

 



6.  Over prepare for nerve-racking situations.  Then, if you forget half of what you know, you will know a lot!

 

 



7.  Start any pitch with "This is a great idea because...,"  not "This might be dumb, but..."

 

 



8.  Mistakes?  Nah.  Call them learning opportunities.

 

 



9.  Do not babysit for, do shots with or touch the naked flesh of anyone you report to.

 

 



10.  Your friends love you!  Realize that not everyone at work needs to.



 

 





 



SAVVY SHOPPING ADVICE

SAVVY SHOPPING ADVICE:  BY NICOLE CHAVEZ FROM "OK MAGAZINE".

Nicole Chavez is a stylist-to-the-star such as Rachel Bilson, Scarlett Johansson, and Kristen Bell to name a few.  These are her shopping pointers before hitting the stores:

 

 

 



1.  Do an audit of your closet prior to heading out.

 

2.  Determine what classics you want to freshen up and what trends you want to incorporate into your look.

 



 

3.  Peruse magazines for tear sheets of trends you want to explore and create a style file of desired outfits.

 

4.  Don't be afraid to venture out of your comfort zone.  Play dress-up!

 

 

 

 

5.  Take a selfie.  You will be surprised what a photograph will uncover about an ensemble.

 

 









THE BENEFITS OF FIBERS

THE BENEFITS OF FIBERS:  FROM SUNRISE SENIOR LIVING (JANUARY 2014)

 

 

 

Fiber is a crucial element of any diet, especially for seniors, since they tend to suffer from conditions like constipation, diabetes, heart disease and obesity.  Fiber, which comes from oats, peas, beans, apples, citrus and carrots, as well as nuts, veggies and potatoes, can help you feel and look better.  Here's how:

 

 

BETTER FOR YOUR BELLY

Fiber's best known benefit is for the bowels.  According to the Mayo Clinic, fiber normalizes bowel movements and helps maintain health in these organs.  It may reduce the risk of hemorrhoids and diseases of the colon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

HEART-HEALTHY

Soluble fiber, the kind found in beans flaxseed and oats -- can help lower your cholesterol by controlling the "bad" LDL cholesterol levels in the blood.

 

 



 

 

NOT SO SUGARY

High-fiber foods also help control blood sugar levels in people who have diabetes because of the way they slow the absorption of sugar.  This effect on blood sugar can also reduce the risk of developing type 2 diabetes in the first place.

 

 

 

 

WEIGHT LOSS

High-fiber foods are packed with other nutrients, which in turn make you feel fuller longer, and you're likely to eat less throughout the day.